Blog Archives

Are you listening?

6/19/2015

"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." --Ernest Hemingway

I pride myself on being a good listener.

As a sales professional and a team leader, effective listening is critical to my success. Is being a good listener important to you too?

Really listening to others has become increasingly challenging given the plethora of electronic distractions—namely our smart phones and their texts, tweets, chats, check-ins, notifications, emails, dings, tones, and buzzes!

When I find myself losing my concentration during conversations with others, I mentally run through these 5 Skills of Listening to immediately put myself back in the moment. I use the acronym H.E.A.R.S. as a way to recall, and implement these skills:

The 5 Skills of Listening:

1. Hone-In on the other person in your conversation to physically demonstrate your undivided attention (I imagine having blinders on the sides of my face). Position your body so that you are full-facing your partner—with proper posture, either sitting or standing. Put all devices completely away.

"You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time." --M. Scott Peck

2. Eye-Contact is to be made directly and sincerely with your partner.

Former President, Bill Clinton was masterful at giving each person his undivided attention when listening—if even for a few brief moments.

3. Ask Questions to engage in the listening, and to demonstrate your attention and interest in what the other person is saying (instead of thinking about what you’re going to say!).

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." --Stephen R. Covey

4. Read Body Language for non-verbal messages. What emotion is your partner expressing? Is the person looking for a solution or merely venting? Is there a hidden message?

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said" --Peter Drucker

5. Summarize the points of the conversation, and repeat them back to your partner to make sure you understand the message. This also demonstrates to your partner that you heard what he or she was saying--you truly listened!

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say." --Bryant H. McGill

Become Extraordinary! Part 3

6/18/2015

Become Extraordinary (part 3 of 3)

My last several posts focused on why some people become extraordinary while most of us do not. What’s their secret? How can you become extraordinary too?

If you want to be extraordinary, you must do extra – ordinary things with your time and energy.

In this post I will focus on the third simple way to becoming extraordinary.

3. Begin doing Extra – Ordinary activities in your work or career:

Two hikers are walking through the woods and encounter a mother bear that is angrily protecting her cubs. The first hiker stops to quickly change into his running shoes. The second hiker nervously laughs and says, “What’s the point of that? You can’t outrun that bear.” The first hiker replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you!”

My grandfather (in law), whom we affectionately referred to as “Grandpa-the-Great,” was an extraordinary individual in almost every way. He gave me some sound career advice about 25 years ago declaring, “Kevin, to be successful, you only need to do 10% more than everyone else!”

Now, I can’t say where Grandpa-the-Great got the “10%” figure – or if he even just made it up on the spot, but I have benefited from that advice ever since.

The point for you, dear reader, is that it takes very little extra-ordinary effort to become extraordinary in your career or profession!

Let me explain by using a metaphor about a small, one-employee (you) service business. Please be sure to read on – because this may give you an insight into your work and career unlike anything you’ve ever read before!

Success in business, as with almost anything else in life, is achieved at the margins.

For the sake of simplicity, assume your small hypothetical service business has a steady monthly revenue stream generated from your sales of $10,000.

The fixed overhead of all your monthly expenses (rent, utilities, insurance, advertising, car, etc.) is $9,000 – leaving a gross profit of $1,000, or 10% of your sales.

Using the 10% rule from Grandpa-the-Great, what happens to the gross profit if you marginally increase your monthly sales by another 10% per month?

Will the gross profit go up 10% too?

Actually, if the current sales are $10,000 per month and you increase them by 10% to $11,000 per month--your gross profit would increase 100% from $1,000 to $2,000! (Remember, the fixed costs remain unchanged).

What does this have to do with becoming extraordinary?

Let’s get back to you and your job. You are most likely part of an organization. From the organization’s point of view, ordinary performance is equivalent to the efforts needed to attain the success from our hypothetical example BEFORE the profit increase. It does not suggest those efforts are easy or unsatisfactory, just that they are ordinary.

Extraordinary performance, on the other hand, is represented by the 100% gross profit increase in our hypothetical example.

However, the difference between the ordinary and extraordinary results was a margin of only 10% extra effort on your part!

Now, keep in mind that this example is a metaphor to help you understand that relatively small and consistent extra effort, a marginal difference over what is ordinary, will generate extraordinary results!

This is a universal principle that transcends across all career fields.

...And, it is why Hiker number one knew he didn’t have to be faster than the bear—just marginally faster than Hiker number two.

...It is also why Grandpa-the-Great knew that if he worked 10% harder than his peers over the course of his lifetime that he would become extraordinary (and take my word for it, he was!).

How hard would it be for you to do 10% more than everyone else?

It’s not that hard at all! Most of what we do on the job is the result of what has been previously established by the performance culture of our place of employment anyway. This "standard" has not been optimized for extraordinary performance!

How can you become more effective in your output? What efficiencies can you develop in your position? Which of your responsibilities and objectives are the most important and valuable to your company's mission and success? Focus your extra effort on those areas.

Working 10% harder can also mean working 10% smarter. Approach this strategy as a competitive mindset and a higher level professional standard for yourself versus an expanded to-do list in an already hectic schedule.

Like the magic of compound interest, your sustained effort of working 10% harder than ordinary will yield extraordinary benefits to you in regards to your job- skills, knowledge of your field, professional reputation, and your capacity to confidently assume more responsibilities over time!

Extraordinary people are exceptional because of the extra-ordinary activities they focus on with their time and energy.

Over several posts, I explored three simple ways you can become more extraordinary, including mastering a skill or subject matter outside of your work, volunteering your time and resources toward something important to you, and by dedicating 10% more sustained effort to your career.

Becoming extraordinary is a choice. The choice is yours to make!

Instead of choosing to spend all of your free time being a customer of those who lead extraordinary lives, why not dedicate some of your time to becoming more extraordinary yourself?

Become Extraordinary! Part 2

6/18/2015

Become Extraordinary (part 2 of 3)

My last couple of posts focused on why some people become extraordinary while most of us do not. What’s their secret? How can you become extraordinary too?

If you want to be extraordinary, you must do extra – ordinary things with your time and energy.

In this post I will focus on the second simple way to becoming extraordinary...

2. Commit yourself to a cause or purpose that is intimately important to you:

Is there a cause, such as a charity, non-profit organization, or unmet need that you believe in enough to support with your time, energy, and/or resources?

Given the wide range of ways in which to give – whether it’s to the benefit of children, healthcare, poverty, environment, animals, community, education, economy, peace, politics, religion – or whatever the cause, there is a perfect match for you, your interests and values!

What does volunteering my time and energy have to do with being extraordinary?

This is an interesting question, and, in my opinion, another one of life’s mysteries. I describe it as the universal law of reciprocity – which is another way of saying, “What goes around, comes around.”

Ultimately your deeds, good or bad, will repay you in kind. Almost all cultures and religions have a way to define this phenomenon –making it universal in nature.

Volunteering some of your free time toward a selfless cause or purpose will provide extraordinary results over time!

There are some practical benefits to you for volunteering, but the life-changing benefits are not as easily defined.

The positive difference you will make in the lives of others will be immeasurable as those results multiply in their effects with the passage of time.

While you may never know the exact outcome of your efforts, those benefits will reflect back on you—if in no other way than through improvements in your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Please do not underestimate the power of this one benefit alone! Additionally, do not underestimate the power to improve the lives of others with your individual actions, however small they may seem to you at the time!

If you are like me, you’re thinking, “This sounds good –but I don’t know what to do or how to get started.” “On top of that, every other time I signed up to volunteer for something, I didn’t really like it that much.”

I understand where you’re coming from.

Before I made the time to discover several causes that were important to me, and then matched the exact ways in which I could best volunteer my time and resources, I felt the same way!

What ordinarily happens to most of us is we end up donating money or volunteering for various charities because we either feel obligated to the person asking us for our support, or guilty for not contributing to a worthy sounding cause.

Paradoxically, these contributions, that are lacking our personal commitment and passion, create insignificant value for anyone—especially us. What meaning does this create in your life? Do you think it activates the universal law of reciprocity? Of course not! It’s more likely to activate your feelings of resentment toward those causes—creating a negative feedback loop for you!

Extraordinary people commit themselves to the causes that are truly important to them. You can too!

Your idea doesn’t have to be popular, or polarizing, or even remotely connected to your career or industry. It doesn’t have to be expensive, and it doesn’t have to be the next United Way!

Maybe you just set out to help a few families in your local community? Perhaps there is an unmet need at the local school? The number of volunteer ideas for you to explore are endless and limited only to your imagination.

The key to unlocking the secrets of extraordinary results for you, and those you intend to serve, is to choose something that YOU truly believe in—and to contribute in the ways that YOU enjoy doing. Once you make this important self-discovery—take action by getting started!

What could be a better use of your time than spending it on something you enjoy doing for something you believe in anyway?

Think about it.

Why use up ALL of your valuable time and energy on ordinary pursuits when you can dedicate some of your time to extra-ordinary efforts and activities?

Stay tuned for the third, and final simple way to becoming extraordinary…

Become Extraordinary! Part 1

6/17/2015

My last post focused on why some people become extraordinary while most of us do not. What’s their secret?

If you want to be extraordinary, you must do extra – ordinary things with your time and energy.

In order to break free from the ordinary, it’s important to live a life by design versus doing what everyone else is doing by default.

There are three simple steps that you can take to begin your personal journey of becoming extraordinary.

In this post I will focus on the first simple way to becoming extraordinary.

1. Begin acquiring mastery of a skill or field outside of your profession.

This process can be extremely powerful – and will likely change your life for the better in any number of ways! Many extraordinarily successful professionals are also experts in a completely separate field or hobby that is independent of their careers. Do you know anyone like this personally? Is this a coincidence? Are the two connected in any way?

Mastery of a subject matter requires exceptional focus and concentration on acquiring the depth of knowledge to become an expert. The mere pursuit of mastery develops self-discipline, critical thinking, and the expansion of a knowledge base that is often transferable to your vocation.

For example, there is some evidence suggesting that schoolchildren who pursue music education eventually perform better in math, science, and overall academic testing and achievement than their peers who do not study music. What is the connection? Do you think this could also apply to business or personal success?

As a 20-year part-time martial arts teacher, I have personally witnessed many life-changing success stories that resulted from the pursuit of martial arts mastery. On more than one occasion, I have had adults decide to start their own businesses (in their existing professions) because of the self - confidence they gained from becoming black belts!

Their businesses were more financially rewarding and professionally fulfilling to them than the jobs they left behind. This was never the intended goal of their martial arts training, but for them it was an unexpected benefit.

One extraordinary and well-known individual has essentially made a personal empire from his experiences in mastering skills and hobbies outside of his original vocation! NYT bestselling author, Timothy Ferris’s books, “The 4-Hour Workweek,” “The 4-Hour Body,” and “The 4-Hour Chef,” describe his journeys of mastery, life experiences, and methods of rapid learning—that, for the purpose of this post – underscores the value of mastering hobbies, skills, or fields outside of your profession!

Do you have an area of interest that you could pursue to mastery? If you do, then know that there has been no better time in history to learn and master something new than now. Because of advances through the Internet, you can easily learn just about any subject matter with ease of access and little to no financial cost to you.

Why use up ALL of your valuable time and energy on ordinary pursuits when you can dedicate some of your time to extra-ordinary efforts and activities? You have interests, curiosities, dreams and wonders. We all do! Who knows what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it—and what those accomplishments will lead you to in life? Isn’t it worth it to you to find out? Start your own journey to becoming extraordinary by acquiring mastery of a skill or field outside of your profession.

Extraordinary American Founding Father, Benjamin Franklin, had this to say, “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.”

...Stay tuned for the second simple way to becoming extraordinary in my next post.

Do You Want to be Extraordinary?

6/16/2015

What is it that makes some people become extraordinary? Why is having an extraordinarily interesting personality or lifestyle so rare? How do some people achieve extraordinary career, financial, or relationship success in their lives, while the majority of us do not? Who even has the time, resources, and energy to accomplish so much in their lives anyway? Surely they must have some natural advantages, or have been given a head start in life!

To be fair, without a life by design, most of us end up in a rut by either letting circumstances dictate our choices, or by doing the ordinary things that most people we interact with tend to do as well. Subconsciously, we gravitate toward heard behavior as a natural part of socialization into society, and a way to comfortably fit into our social and work circles. In short, we tend to default to what everyone else does – the ordinary. Investing your time into ordinary activities and actions will inevitably lead to ordinary results.

Do you find all of your after work time eaten up by a never-ending stream of commitments and daily activities? For example, maybe you spend the vast majority of your weekends trekking across your state for travel soccer, hockey, or baseball tournaments. Perhaps you have golf league, or neighborhood association/PTA meetings followed by a scheduled social commitment to watch the big game (you may even have to dig up a creative recipe for a dish to pass!). Of course, there are always household chores, renovation or fix-up projects, and a continual stream of urgent interruptions that demand all of your remaining time and energy. At the end of your day, you can barely manage to watch a few re-runs of your favorite sitcom, reality TV show, or ESPN sports center. “Such is life,” you rationalize.

In moderation, any of these examples can be viewed as a healthy or necessary part of daily life in America. In your case, however, is it by design, habit, or because everyone else does it that way? Do you have a child athletic prodigy that demands a professional athlete’s training regimen, or do you just end up squandering your personal resources and energy in this way simply because your friends and neighbors are all doing it (maybe your child could benefit more by focusing on something else too!)?

Watching your favorite sports team on TV is an enjoyable outlet for many of us, but do you have to watch every game, all day long, followed by the day’s highlights and the endless after game commentary and debate? Is being a walking encyclopedia of every sports trivia fact advancing your goals or helping you realize your true potential?

“Keeping up with the Kardashians” can be an enjoyable indulgence from time to time, but is it necessary to track their every move and read about their latest scandals in the tabloids too? I know this can be soothing in the short term, but isn’t there a similarly enjoyable activity to invest your time into that will be more rewarding to you over the long term?

Do you really prefer being a spectator (actually a customer) of other people who are experiencing extraordinary lives –or would you rather pursue actions that lead you to enjoying an extraordinary lifestyle yourself?

If you want to be extraordinary, by definition - you must do “Extra – Ordinary” things with your time and energy! Makes sense, doesn’t it? Now, where do you start?

In my upcoming posts, I will identify three simple ways to becoming extraordinary that you can immediately begin to implement, which will start your journey toward creating a more rewarding and extraordinary life for yourself.

Stay tuned!

Could it be Self-Confidence?

6/15/2015

In an earlier post, I suggested that job performance problems are typically the result of either low self-confidence (competence) or low self-esteem (motivation). My last post focused on looking for signs of cynicism as clues of low professional self-esteem, and then making improvements through career development. The result of improved self-esteem is an elevated motivation to succeed, and better overall job performance.

While motivation is expressed through self-esteem, competence is expressed through self-confidence, and is the result of appropriate knowledge, skills, and experience in a person’s work duties. Besides poor job performance, how can you tell if a team member is suffering from low self-confidence? Let’s face it—people are not going to tell you that they don’t know what they’re doing! We’re hard-wired to avoid feeling inadequate or foolish—and are silently fearful that we may lose our jobs if we are recognized as not being competent.

A good leader will recognize the signs of low professional self-confidence, diagnose which skills need developing, and help move the team to optimal performance and productivity.

The classic sign of low self-confidence is masking. Masking is used to cover up a lack of competence. A metaphorical example of this would be the stereotypical high school athletic superstar who never learned to read well. How did he make it through school? By covering up for his reading skills in other ways.

What are some of the clues that a team member may be masking? Examples might include statements such as, “This is not a good example of how I usually do it.” “This training class is not real-world, so that is why I’m having trouble.” “I usually do much better than this, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” “I’m not good in these situations when you are with me, but I usually do much better by myself.” Of course, everyone has a bad day from time to time. However, continual rationalizing of poor performance, coupled with objective examples of low output, usually means a person is lacking certain skills.

Your job as a good leader, is to recognize these clues early on and to address any training needs immediately. What does it say about your leadership if your team does not get the training, feedback, and support they need and deserve to do their jobs well? The best place to start is with an honest conversation between you and your team about the skills in question. This can easily be accomplished when there is a “safe zone” of learning, coupled with mutual trust. Learning and taking risks are an important part of success in any field, and a culture that discourages honesty and punishes risk taking is not conducive to innovation and growth. A strong and confident leader will continually assess, teach, and reinforce skills on a routine basis. It all starts with you!

By recognizing signs of cynicism and/or masking, and then taking strategic steps to begin improving motivation and competence, you will develop a high functioning team of people who are eager to succeed and capable of the highest level of performance in your organization. I hope these posts gave you some practical tips to address some of the all too common problems in the world of work.

What is Professional Self-Esteem?

6/14/2015

What is professional self-esteem and what does it have to do with employee performance?

In my last post, I suggested that job performance problems are typically the result of either low self-confidence (competence) or low self-esteem (motivation). Between the two of these concepts, low self-esteem may be the least understood.

In general, self-esteem is determined by the difference (or gap) between your “ideal self” and your “actual self.” The closer you resemble the kind of person that you aspire to be, or your ideal self—the better you feel, and the happier you are. Conversely, the further you stray from the fundamental goals, character, or values of your ideal self, the worse you feel—and the unhappier you become.

Professional self-esteem is something slightly different. Professional self-esteem is determined by the difference (or gap) between where we want to be (and think we should be) in our career, and where we actually are at this time.

One thing we know is that professional self-esteem plays a very important role in determining our motivation to excel—and therefore directly affects job performance.

The key to gauging your team’s professional self-esteem is to determine the difference between each person’s unique ideal work self, and his or her actual work self, as observed by you and by others.

We all have a vision of the quality of worker we think we should be, and the career that we expect for ourselves. It is how we envision ourselves in our work roles ideally.

For example, you may picture yourself as a competent and confident professional who performs at a high level and is recognized and rewarded for your accomplishments and contributions to your organization.

However, you may actually not be getting the recognition you feel you deserve, or you may not be doing as good a job as you think--either of which is disappointing and demotivating.

Therefore, to even begin to close the gap, you need to know if and when you are doing a good job!

How do you know if it’s low professional self-esteem?

The sign of low self-esteem will be an expression of cynicism.

This cynicism comes from either an actual gap between the individual’s ideal self and actual self ("I am not happy with my job performance, or am not where I hoped to be in my professional development or career"), or from the belief that he or she is not perceived fairly by their company’s leadership ("I am not being recognized for my contributions").

Clues of cynicism for you to listen for include, “It doesn’t matter what I do, it won’t make any difference.” “This isn’t fair.” “It’s not what you know, its who you know.” “I don’t know what they expect from me.” These statements are examples of cynicism and point to a low professional self-esteem.

Once you diagnose low professional self-esteem in your team, what can you do about it? The next step is simply to help facilitate the journey toward becoming more like their ideal professional selves (a journey of professional development).

It’s time to start asking some questions. By discovering the career hopes and dreams of your team (and how they are currently measuring up to those ideals), you can help identify any roadblocks to getting them back on track. There could be any number of obstacles interfering with aligning a person’s actual self with his ideal self. Maybe it’s a real developmental deficiency that he does not realize, or perhaps his past contributions have gone unreported or unrecognized. Maybe he has not been perceived correctly by his leaders, or conversely is lacking self-awareness when dealing with colleagues.

Whatever the barrier, most issues can be overcome once recognized and dealt with directly!

Oftentimes, it is simply poor leadership that is holding back a team member’s progress toward reaching her full potential. People need (and deserve) direct and honest feedback – good or bad, with proper praise and recognition when earned, or correction and redirection when warranted.

Neglect of this principal will always lead to problems!

Once your team members have a vision of their ideal professional selves, and what they hope and expect for themselves within the organization, it’s up to you to show them a clear path to those ends. A good leader will also hold them accountable to their own behaviors along the way – with consistent and honest feedback at every conceivable opportunity.

People need to know that someone is paying attention to them and their work! They need to know that their actions and behaviors make a difference—one way or another. In reality, it takes very little time and effort on your part to make some initial observations, initiate a safe, but realistic discussion about their current situation, and develop a path toward personal excellence—monitored by continual dialogue and guidance. This is professional development in action!

Once you are on this path to facilitating high self-esteem within your team, you will be rewarded with their loyalty, and by their demonstrated motivation for achievement and superior performance!

What are you waiting for? It’s time to get started, today!

In my next post, I'll discuss the role of self-confidence in job performance, and how to recognize the hidden clues that will help you to determine if there is a problem. It may not be what you think it is...

Do you have a winning team? Why not?

6/13/2015

Job performance problems are typically the result of either low self-confidence or low self-esteem (or a combination of both). Self-confidence is determined by a worker’s competence, or how well the person knows how to do his or her job, which includes a combination of knowledge, skills, and experience. Self-esteem, on the other hand, determines a worker’s happiness and thus affects his or her motivation. In other words, the better we feel about our work-selves, the more motivated we are to excel.

The typical management responses to low performance are to set tight objectives, offer words of encouragement, or to develop “performance improvement plans,” all of which can have variable success over the long haul. The limitations of these standard reactions to poor performance are that they do nothing to address the underlying causes of low professional self-confidence or self-esteem. A good leader, on the other hand, will be able to see the signs or symptoms of either low self-confidence or low self-esteem, quickly diagnose the problem, and then set the process in motion to correct the deficiencies. This system is what will get your team on the right path toward higher performance!

“This sounds easy enough, so how do I get started?” You’re right, this really is a simple process, and as a business leader you can get started on developing a high performing team in no time. In my next couple of posts I will share the secrets to: recognizing the signs of low professional self-confidence and self-esteem, addressing these issues with your team, and taking action steps that will really work!

Ready to Become a Leader?

6/12/2015

Three simple ways to start leading, today!

In my last post, I reminded you that you don’t need anyone’s permission to be a leader. Knowing that people in your organization are starved for leadership, you ask, “How do I become a leader if I’m not in a leadership position?” Let me share with you three simple steps to becoming a leader.

First, regardless of your position or tenure in your organization, you can begin immediately leading by example. People naturally look up to those who are highly competent in their work. By making just a little extra time and effort to do your job especially well, you will set the example for others to follow. Since average is just so… average, it doesn’t take very much to stand out in the work world! Your personal excellence will draw others to you, seeking out your advice and expertise. You will immediately be considered a leader among your peers.

Second, once you are recognized as an expert, you will naturally begin to help others through informal one on one instruction, or even as a formal mentor. Look for ways to reach out and help others who are new to their role, or are struggling with their responsibilities. Ask your manager if you can help train or mentor others in your business unit. While you will be performing a valuable service to your organization, it is you who will be the primary beneficiary of your initiative! Teaching and mentoring others will enhance your leadership skills and elevate your confidence and self-esteem. Your efforts will be rewarded exponentially through the universal law of reciprocity.

Third, now that you are an expert in your position, and a mentor to your peers, you are ready to take on group leadership assignments. Again, all you need is a little initiative to seek out and volunteer for existing opportunities or unmet needs. Whether you are naturally extroverted or introverted, the confidence developed from the expertise in your role, and the experience of training or mentoring others, will more than prepare you to excel in leading a group project!

How long does this three-step process take? Not long at all! Begin immediately, take initiative, and in a matter of weeks, you will be well on your way as a recognized leader in your organization! Please know that this simple system WILL work. Nevertheless, very few people will make the minimal effort necessary to stand out, and become a leader. Remember this mantra: “If you want to be extraordinary, do extra-ordinary things!”

Your Organization is Starved for Leadership!

6/11/2015

What’s holding you back from leading?

People everywhere are starved for leadership. This is especially true in our rapidly changing economy and business culture.

Maybe you feel like your organization, your team, or your colleagues could be doing more to respond to increased competition or other circumstances.

You wonder, “Why doesn’t someone see this situation and do something about it?” You think, “If I were in charge, I would…!”

Honestly, I hear this kind of talk all the time, and I believe there is a vast and powerful untapped source of organizational leadership that is waiting to be discovered: You!

There is a little known secret about leadership that nobody tells you –You don’t need anyone’s permission to be a leader!

The most common misconception made about leadership is thinking that you must be appointed to a “leadership position” in order to start leading. Paradoxically, this thinking is completely backward!

The truth is that first you lead, and only then are you considered for a “leadership position.”

Are you ready to start leading? In part two of this post, I’ll tell you three easy ways for you to begin leading, today!